Learning how to properly break the ice and get invited to sit with a customer takes time. Most girls tend to just walk around to every guy in the room and ask "Wanna dance?" and then when he says no walk off. This is the exact wrong approach. Every guy in that room has enough money for at least one dance- you just have to find the right words to get them to buy one. "Wanna dance?" can work in a very crowded room or if a guy is already interested but it will do absolutely nothing to convince a guy who was uninterested to change his mind.
It's too easy to say no to. To start with, choose your targets, who is looking at you the most when you are on stage or dancing for other customers? Talk to the bartender and the floor hosts: who has an open tab or has been spending a lot of money? If a bartender or floor hosts gives you a good lead and you make money ALWAYS tip them at the end of the night- that way next time they will go to you first when they see a big spender. When you approach your prospective customer try and say anything but "Wanna dance?": would you like some company?, would you like if I joined you?
If the room is slow and he seems reluctant put a very slight push on. If he says he's not interested ask if he would mind if you just sat down and rested your feet for a minute- you're "not used to these heels". Few men are going to say no to that, and the "not used to these heels" implies that you're a new dancer and invites conversation. If 10 minutes go by and he still doesn't buy a dance don't ask- just say "I'm sorry, I've got to get back to work- it's been nice talking to you okay?" This implies that you didn't consider sitting with him work, a slight bit of flattery that will probably get you a dance later. Think of this approach as "seeding"in that you may not get the dance then, but chances are you will later. After a half-hour of "wanna dance" from the other girls he's going to wish for your company again and probably be willing to pay for it. Or even the next time he comes in yours will be the familiar face. With this approach it's important you not spend too long with them- keep them hungry. Unless they're paying don't sit with them longer then 10 to 15 minutes and only that long if the room is very slow. If they're used to getting it for free it's going to be hard to get them to pay for it. You're friendly and available- they just have to be willing to pay for it.
Never ever, sit on your own or hang out at the bar talking to other dancers. At any given time you should be either sitting with a customer, moving to another customer or on stage. If you're just standing around they will assume you're not busy and it will be VERY hard to get a customer to pay for your time because "you're not doing anything anyway". Look busy, if they think other men want you then they will want you.
It's important you have respect for the money they give you, so much money changes hands that girls often forget what it represents. Let's say your customer earns $40,000 a year after taxes- probably about average income for a stripclub patron in NYC. That works out to around $20 an hour. If a customer sits with you and you make $100, that's 5 hours of his time. If a handyman came to your house and fixed thing for 5 hours you'd say "thank you" right? Always thank the customer and make sure he knows you mean it. Even if $100 doesn't seem like a lot of money to you to the average customer it is.
One last thing, don't screw with guys' heads. It's not cool, you can make money without doing it. I see lots of girls who string guys along implying they'll go out with them if they just visit a few more times or laying on sob stories about their sick children or parents. Don't do it, there is never any reason for you to lie as a dancer. After a few repetitions it gets very fake and you just come off as a greedy gold digger. If you want customers to treat you with respect you should treat them with respect. If they are disrespectful just walk away, there is no reason for you to sink to their level. There are more then enough good men who will to pay you to sit, talk and laugh with them and when you dance they will treat you like a goddess. As customers they deserve your courtesy and if they don't respect you in return they don't deserve to have you spend time with them.